HANGINGTHORN

 
                      (Life is like a rose, beware of thorns or else in the end you'l be left hanging)
   Your going to come back, right?it would only be a month long to go." I asked with tears in my eyes, touching his cheeks gently. "yes! I will. I love you so much I can't dare to leave you and to be away from you, we are going to pursue our dreams someday, I will come back, and when that time comes I will asked your hand to wear my ring and you to be in my forevermore" my tears keep on rolling on "I will wait for your home coming, I'm always hanging and torn when you're not there, I love you". I lay my head in his chest feeling the heat of his body and hearing the beat of his heart "I love you too honey" ...

It was a cold rainy morning when me and my friend rose to the city. City lights, everywhere. We were chasing for the time, astounding as we are, until ... YES ! we reached SM's cinema 3 for the movie, The Hunger Games. Oh! then eventually it reminded me of someone I used to be out on movies. He is miles away from me,indeed. Just then a memory blogged up in the a distance. I miss him so much.."Oh probably! it would really be nice to be with you again, I really miss you...so much" I said wearily with fingertips cold. "It's going to be fine, I'm coming back, I will never leave you" he said. "baby, don't dissapoint me. I need you back. you're everything I need" I mur with tears falling from the corner of my eyes turning to be ice. "Honey, just feel the breeze there, don't worry too much, I'll be going home someday, okay? just stay calm" and eventully he did make me feel better but only then some part of me are madly aching. "Yes, I will honey" I then turn off the phone call and just sit patienly and enjoying the groove of the movie. -- WOW! it was really... really... something, it was nice and terrific, yes it is really was.-- I got home, drained from tiredness, so I lay my head in my soft, scented pillow, eyes are now getting ready to closed and I'm apparently drowsy. It was damn raining, I peeked from my window pain, the memories bulged in my head, and it seems like it's making me remember them over ang over again, though it was really nice to remember them but undeniably I am aching. I am managing a damn-fake-smile covering the swelling of the pain and sickness but then I am weak to help cover up myself, weak as a dull deer and I know there is one thing that could cure my from this illness, it is his present. His present, physically.-- As the happy, ever so bright sun fading its color and touched the tip of the mountains, It was now setting from a far away then I hummed into the steady tune of the moment "your going to be fine, you'll be healed at some time just trust him and your relationship and it will all going to be alright". I deeply closed my eyes for a second and then open them, like a front door opened and ready to be shut angrily. -- 4 years later Katnis then finished his studies got promoted to a well known company of Interiors, wherein she was known as the top Interior Designers in the country, and also her writting thing never leave her down, she was also known for her best seller novels, and was known for writting the best love stories in the world. Though her name now had surf the whole wide world but still her longings still brings her down, crawling and waiting for a sign of his longedloved boyfriend. She had searched everywhere, she searched on social networks, or she even posted her phone number, she got thousands of phone calls but no one glows up to be RODERICK, the man in her heart, until such time comes when the world's bringing her hopes down.

"So what the hell you are doing? I know you still love her, then what you are doing? your just sitting around like nothing's wrong in your life" Jamich said angrily towards Roderick "There isn't wrong in my life" he answers back calmy. "There is, and it is something you have to be looking into, settle that brother, your not a child anymore!". 'OKAY' , i said to myself "I love her and I really do miss her but it's not enough to make her understand" he nodded "But Rod, you didn't even see that she is doing everything to find you and your so coward of facing her, she will understand it if you'l just explain it to her clearly, clear as a crystal" she answers me. "was I a fool?" I asked. "Yes! probably, I'm not accusing you as someone whose dull, but apparantly your not using your mind. come on! wake up." she screeches, but I was a bestfriend of silence. "and don't you ever give me your dumbfounded look, that is not so cool".

It was really a busy day, a day full of papers and pens and it's really making me a lilttle sobber, Oh God! Sigh! I murmured as I lay into this bed of red roses. My head isn't working well, I can't even composed a new story for the new out magazine. Oh God! How horrible is it?--, The sun shyly peeked in the closed curtains, door chimes sang a beatiful melody, and it's telling me that it's going to be a wonderful day. My smile turned to be broad and stunning.

"Are you ready?" she said smilling. "As I'll ever be Jam" I assure her, "okay then, goodluck! break the leg huh?" I laughed only then to keep myself from shattering in fear, fear that she might reject me.

First thing to do in the office is just to sit around stay confident for the clients. I hummed unto myself. I am facing the whole city in my window glass, until then an image of a familiar man glowed up below. My eyes flashed widely open, and then the image went right away. I am thinking of that man again, but my mind tells me 'it was nothing' 'nothing but a piece of crap' he heart continued.-- "Good day ma'am, there this man in the lane who wanted to talk to you, he said his name is Rod" words echo in my head like a cannon ball. "okay" was all I responsed with schock in my voice. "Shall I let him in, ma'am?" she asked once again. "Okay" again it was all I said "is anything okay, ma'am?" urgh! whatta stupid crew."of course." I answer her calmy.

I was facing in the hundred posts of photographs in my office. And he was right in front of me. "What made you came here after the long shot Roderick?" I asked him then nodded. "I came here to apologize for being deadly gone, my sister told you've send searches to reached me." I smile and told him "I was about to hunt you, but I lose hope, you know... the world's bringing me down on looking for you, and someone told me that it would be for the best if I'll stop, anyway, I figured out then that you hasn't recieved those efforts. To tell you frankly, you break my heart when you left and you break it once more when you came again, I lost my world when you left and when you came you make it fell again, but my senses told me to stop. You already broke it, now you don't have the guts to break it again." I face him "I did not thought you would do this, My world seemed to crash, I really shouldn't have thought that this would last." My voice turned to be vibrid and then here I am managing a dumbfounded look. " I still love you, I have forgotten you". "you already did forget me. you forget all of those words, I've waited for you, but what did you did? you broke everything, and now there's nothing left." I said wearily. "I have a reason why I did that but then I did my very best to face you again, to tell you how much I miss you, and I love you, but it will never be enough" he said, begging. "Your apology is accepted. yes! Love isn't really enough, and you know what ? I would love to see you walk away a-again. the door is widely open!" I never expected that a single lone tear will falls through my eyes.-- Roderick  keeps on giving me letters, flowers, chocolates, or even our old photographs together 4 years ago, he's been doing it since the day I told him to never come back, it was 3 months from that day. But still I am not replying into his messages.

"Jam, this is it. I have to face it, anyway she's gone, there is no way I can't have her back. So, please do me a favor. If ever she'll look for me. give this letter to her, will you?" she smiled "but bro, your not gonna die. okay?" I nodded "I just don't want to wish for that impossible thing." She's quite and just hug me tight..

5 MONTHS PASSED. . .

" Ding... Dong... Ding... Dong" the door turned open, "Hey jam!" I cried. "Oh ! hi, Katnis. What made you came here?" she asked smiling. "Is he there? Roderick ?" I asked with curiousity in my eyes in her horrible expression. "Uhm..come inside, there is something I wanted to give you." She said and keeping herself deaf about my question. "Oh no! It will be okay for me if he don't wanna see me at all, I guess I'm going to drive myself home." I nodded "Oh! he's fine with it, and I guess there is something I really needed to tell you about him." my expression went curiously captivated. "Okay, if you say so." I follow her into the sofa and then we've talk so much about their house that was made and designed by Roderick, his very own masterpiece. His room was full of roses and pictures of ours and also mine, I was barely touched and much more I am eager to see him. But there this place with a jar and a letter and plenty of candles, and the ring which I have also one 4 years ago. It was a couple ring, his and mine."Katnis, my brother told me that If one day came by when you'l look for him I'll just give this letter for you. He wrote before he said goodbye" I smiled and grasp the letter, touched it with my bare hands and feel it with my big heart for him. "where is he?" She nodded and look above the seilings "I never realize that the seilings are painted with thick and beautiful clouds with a picture of him each clouds that are separated" I feel nervous my heart is aching and my senses are telling me that there is something wrong inwhich I have to know it to Jamich. "Jam, where is he?" I cried and cringed my fingers into her elbow. "where is Roderick?" but she's still silent "Where is your brother?" I said it once again, my heart slowly falling into pieces, oh heart, be still. She face me and I realize that she was crying. "Where is - " He interrupt me, she said then "5 months ago, His Melanoma got influated. It got complicated until it comes to a point that the moles became cancerous, he needed you so much, but then he understands that you are having a wealthy and a better life now, so he thought that it would be much better for you and him to be separated. He knows too that he hurt you soo much, that the illness he is feeling is the karma that he made you." She face me again hold my hand and said "4 years ago, when he left and nevr come back, it's because of the illness, He lay down in the hospital rooms for almost 5 months every year, every year Katnis, every year. He knows that you've been looking for him, every book you sell I brought it or him to read it, thus he was very happy when you got promoted in the high class company. He was hoping that someday, you'l understand him for leaving you. But eventually you didn't." I cried and my world, my world, falls apart now my heart is shattering and I'm such a lame for letting him suffer alone. she continues "But he never give up, you know.. he merely sends you present but you leave those unopened and clunged in the bins." A sigh make her stop and then continues "he cries inside this room every minute, second, hours or even every moment. each day comes closer and farther from you. Until he gave me this." she face Rod's photograph "Little brother, the day that you've been waited for has come. I know how happy you are right now, and this, I am giving it now to the girl you love the most" She cried and also my tears, I can't help them to fall.

From that day on, I always went to the cemetery to visit Roderick to let him know that I've regret all of the things that went us wrong. "Roderick, I'm gonna fly to America, i'm going to work there, but I'll be home then, to visit you ofcourse. Rod, I love you so much and I hope you already forgiven me"

A YEAR PASSED . . .


The sun peeked on the plane's glass window, suddenly... a single lone tear falls. She rode her car unto the cementery. "Hi Rod. It's been a long time since I'd left. But I want you to know that our dreams now came true, I never fail you. But, your still not here, every moment I'm away, I'm thinking of you, in every language and words, I'm in pain. I love you honey, I miss you soo much... very very very much, Im always stucked here on those memories of us... forever... but I believe that someday we'l see each other again" I wipe my tears away and perched on the tall grass of the cementery.

  Though there is million rock, million heavens that betweened them. But with that love that bounds them, it almost feel as if they are together again.


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