A Beautiful Nightmare

   A rainbow-colored paint that surrounds the odd, peculiar, queer, rare and definitely outlandish place.The colors glued in my weary eyes and I couldn't even unlock my gaze from it. All I could hear was nothing but taint less, crystal clear purity and sincerity in his voice upon saying ' I love you...'

 So it all began with a shabby and sloppy walk. I was all dressed up normal as a pure and simple visayan girl from the land of Mindanao. Right beside me is my man, dressed up all normal too; jeans and shirt but all brought a look so austere and flawless... In the eyes of nobody but me.

 I was half-blinded and began falling, he brought me in a never-been-there-since-day-one place. A place I somehow then find special and breathtaking.

  "open it", he says as i stroll forward beneath a vintage royal-like door. It was then that I realized that this place was a church, my eyes began wandering everywhere. A rainbow-colored paint, the fountain beneath the altar, the huge cross of Christ that brings beauty and solemnity over the place. In there was a sculptured images of Christ too that then marks an awe in my face. "I've never been in this place", i told him calmly, still amazed. He stealthily looks at me, smiled and then said "that is why i brought you here. Do you like it?", he asks. "i love it here!", i said with excitement. He leaned closer to me making me feel like kissing him, before so, he lifted me in an elevated floor for me to take a sit. His hands slipped over my waist then up to my neck, face, and landed in my hands"This is the perfect time and place to tell you how much I love you Kate Pauline Galagnara and soon to be... Juliada", I remained silent  as he said those words waiting for him to continue. "Kate, will you promised me one thing?", he asks. "anything...". "Kita ra? Og kita na?" , his voice flourished as he asks in our own language. I smiled then said "of-course. kita ra og kita na" , i answer him aimlessly baring a lower tone. " i love you, today, tomorrow-" i cut him off before he was about to finish.-- I kissed him passionately and leaned even more closer to him now-- and together saying "always and forever..", all of the air must have been sucked out of me as i stop and stared, for i found myself not breathing, gazing at this handsome being that someday I would love to spend my forever with.

  I was half-awake and half-dreaming when the alarm clock shout out. The sun's says sinked through my half-open window and tilted brightness through my two-storey hay. I let out a shaky breath and stood still as death. I let my mind wander backwards at my dreams, I wasn't at all certain, but i told myself; i know it was real, and it would come to happen soon.

  I breath in and out and continue blissfully to ponder and dwell with my beautiful nightmare.

Stapled by your Enormous Love

     (guys are like stars. There are millions of them out there, but only one can make your dreams come true. It's the star falls for you)

    The loudest creep in the night is the smile that broads and glows so right beneath a blanket of stars that shone and bright in the eerie night.

     As if sensing my thoughts, I sat up and scooted closer. Leaning in, he kissed me passionately on the lips, and I was suddenly certain that I wanted nothing more that to spend hours and hours wrapped in his arms, just like this. The scene was replaying in my head over and over again, and I can't help but to smile enthusiastically. As the morning sunlight streamed through the living room windows, I stretched before rising to my feet, peeking down the hall. I sat up-bolt into the porch right away as I get in. Closing my eyes for a bit helps me think about this guy I used to call the ‘love-you-with-all-my-heart-guy’, I smile in diffusion, for I knew that there really is such thing more that magic that he’d let me seen. My eyes exhaust open the again. I looked at the façade of the place, the façade of a lovely and flamboyant yet flourished place. A place that somehow lies in his eyes. A place that I found only his side. Over my 14 years of existence; I never felt anything as fun, as exciting, as bearable, as unforgettable, as magical like what he’d let me seen.

     Eavesdrop, I thought. As I lay down, falling asleep in my room. His vision trucked and bothered me in pathos. Thus, before I could say a word, I slouched, staring at the open window. Witnessing the night’s bewitching beauty of the stars; thinking about everything we had. There really is nowhere in this world I would rather be than be in his side forever, I thought smiling in the moonlit sky.

     Just by looking into his eyes, I know a place, forever, isn’t hard to find.

The Reply

                                       (every day you wait is one day you'll never get back)
  
 ...Outside there was a strange illness, except for the thirsty birds that sang lazily on the dying trees. The blinding midday heat had forced me to go back peacefully into my room. It was quite dark, and I was covered with sorrow and pain. I can't even see the silhouette of the light. "When will I ever know the reply" I whisper to myself slowly and softly as it can be.

   I suddenly felt panicky like a mouse cornered by a hungry cat, for I know he is not by my side. I sat lonesomely in the dimly lit room to contemplate: This distress is killing me softly. I miss his hugs, kisses, touch and his smile. I miss me when his around, indeed. Now that we are consecrated, the pain's flooding around the corner of my life. I feel so cold without his touch, I became so unsure about doing anything. I know for this moment, all I need is him. How will I find peace and joy if living is without him? Perhaps, it is my fault though. I was a fool to never realize all I've said. I was totally a bunch of obnoxious wreck to never care at somebody' feeling and affection. For now I was a little tiny mice waiting for an impossible reply that he'l somehow forgive me for what I've done

   Oh dear, I'm so down. My rocket threw me down below the high sky. Joy rejected on me, sorrow's now here in my pace. The facade of his sparkly face gloom in the morning sun as it so shines so bright, too bright.... only then for a bit while it was gone, gone with the morning lit that turns again so dark and black. Oh how will I supposed to live without your love. Honey, come back to me. Your all I want, all I need, and your the only one that completes me. Honey your my refuge and strength. What would it be without you then? I don't want anyone else in the world than to feel your arms around me. Honey, your my everything, your the every piece of my humanity.

  In the cloudless sky the moon shone so brightly, and the numerous stars glittered with a bewitching beauty. I could still hear my heart beating painfully within me. "How I love to see him smiling at me. Assuring me that he loves me not less but instead more. How I long for the reply. I'm still here waiting for the love of my life." I hummed lonesomely with the evening stars.

The Day I Met You

 (This was made by my guy on this 24th of june. I'm so in love with this, forever and always)

     On the day that I first saw you I know this feeling is true. The feeling I can hardly forget every moment of it, I wont regret.


     Every hour, every minute of the day I know I got to find a way to look at you and your beautiful eyes that turns my gray clouds into a blue sky.


     This feeling that I have for you that only in my heart once grew, by this time if you only knew you would make my knees fall down for you.


    There is this only one thing I wish to make you happy and to hear your sweet yes by the time you'll hear me confess to love you truly, I promise.

Sparks

 
                               
  I whispered soft and slow: 'I'm captivated by you honey like a firework show'". I was pathetically singing this verse from Taylor Swift's Sparks Fly. Exasperated and peeve, I annoyingly sang this song over and over again and I won't stop.. yeah I won't!

     It was a day... a day far from what I thought. Still it was just like... any other day. Oh God! That might be my phone beeping in exultation. It really was "Hi bee! how's my honey?" It states. My heart skipped a beat felt like gonna shatter into pieces of junk. It's been a night long like a century since his phone died. preposterous huh? An hour of exchanging text messages, My eyes had this urge that they needed to sleep BUT he undeniably forced me to make them still. Without any idea 'WHY'? of course, he did helped me to cover up the drowsiness inside. I was fun of talking with this "BOSSY BITCH FRIENDS" as what I call them, It was really such a hobby to be with them everyday inside of that two months without him. Yes, without him. 

     While I was painting my nails with this bloody red nail polish. There goes another beep, and I know... I know It's from him. "SURPRISE! :)" My mind was blank, I was halfway sitting at this computer chair with open legs. Then, a familiar tone bulged up I follow it's gaze up to the open field... My world shifted to a halt, it freezes just as my heart stop beating, it felt like the things around me... around us... are floating on air. This feeling is such a breathtaking. 'HE' leaned closer to me now, those hands that are swaying beneath my waist, are now steadily caged by his. I miss this feeling, the feeling when he's around. For a moment, he was laughing maybe because my hands are cold and pale, and I couldn't even manage to say a single word. My world is running through my head, and the only thing I was thinking that moment is: "ARE YOU REAL?" for a second I know he's killing my world, and yes... I know I'm seize. 

    His back unto my world now, and all those aches, longings while he's gone now shifted into something we both know we're going to lasts..Those sparks flies now... it shines even brighter than before. Again, the song keeps on playing on my sound box as the sun peeked unto my windows... and I know one thing, this is love, and this is for sure.

Coming Soon

(It feels like a century passed since I hold  a real pen and wrote it on an actual paper. My life is disdainfully lonesome these days, still waiting for his home coming. This is what I wan't to share with everybody, a dream... a dream where everyone want's to sleep with it forevermore.)

    The sun shyly peeked through my wide-open window and along with the swaying curtains. My eyes drop out of confusion upon seeing the "Calendar." Sometimes days are rolling fast that made you miss someone so badly, I said eagerly. How did I tend to survive this cruel distance that lie between the two of us? I asked , perhaps, no one answers me for I know I am all alone. This silence is killing my nerves and so my throat, upon, still, my eyes locked into it. Over thinking of what would tomorrow could bring. Tomorrow is the second of all glorious days without him. He's the melody that I am still captivated, and yes! I'm still waiting for his home coming.

    I packed quickly, getting dressed casually. I rushed downstairs, and went into the dirty kitchen. clumsy and foolish I only ate half of my meal this morning. I've gotta meet someone halfway of this road unto the national highway of buses, cars, and automobiles. "You look like a Mash Potato, like a piece of trash with your suit, huh? So preposterous Rosalinda." He said. "Drop out of milky way, it's out of concern and limitations to insult me with the crime of fashion, you, Mr.Launcelot!" I told meticulously. Half an hour of traveling in the dusty and polluted road to reach the City Of friendship. Chatting and laughing makes the day more promising. He rose to hold my hand, out of my senses the tie screeches to halt and the universe! oh the traitor, conspires against him and me. Words just came out in my mouth "I LOVE YOU" and it continued "Thank you for this wonderful day, I owe you a thousand of thank you's." Sparks flew out of nowhere, and the butterflies in my stomach are racing... He leaned closer to me now, my tension arms cringed as his touched it. His sparkling, diamond eyes locked into my smooth, fascinating eye balls. His breath slowly reached mine, kinda blows out such an intensive scent like a drug about to explode. His hands we're halfway below my waist and other one is at my neck. I don't wanna wake up and risk being lonely. I know I'm not dreaming... He is 'REAL'! I assured myself. His lips marvelously found mine. His nose touched mine that brought out a perfect romance. His kisses delivered a thousand words of longings and showers eternity for the both of us. Now, we can never be broken again. Love and God made us more stronger and tougher than ever... He release my from his gentle kiss but instead of releasing a lot of me, he locked a hug, a tight one with a gentle kiss on my forehead... I closed my eyes feeling the heat of the moment... but something bumps my head.

    (GASPS) I am daydreaming... oh! whatta wreck!!! A sigh made i possible to be calm... But i know someday.. someday I'll relive that dream... It's MAY the 16th, the day wherein a love story steps on another stair. Nothing's gonna stop the both of us now, even when the world ran out of rhymes........ The sun rose soarly now, and I know.... He's coming soon.

The Glimpse Of Eternity

(Sometimes we often say that falling in-love will only just lead our hearts into troubles, disillusionment, disappointment, Heartaches, sorrows but somehow, happiness. We should always put on our minds that love is a game, a game that the both parties should have play well and also fair, love meant to be seeking for the real you. We barely experience breakups but always bear in mind that every ending is only just a beginning. I would like to share with you this story I made. May this story plant a smile on your face. It is never wrong to fall in-love again after you fail...) 
        Crying... it was the only last thing that kept on harrassing and torturing my heart since the day he left. I locked my eyes from the beyond, behind that distance and this heartache, is a wonderful place I know someday I'll pursue. My smile trying to be broad again...



        Flowers everywhere, the ere of this fidelity is such a lovely place to be, and the light! oh be still, I am coming in your way..."Come'on Alis! we aren't in your wonderland. get back to work!" uuuhg. the voice of that ugly mistress, the manager of the company, it is really stressing me out. Paperworks and computer works... here it is, it is life and it was my destiny, is there anything I can do to change it? NOTHING! I answered myself smiling while doing alot of work. Almost 8 hours of work, finally it is going to be a home sweet home. "Alisandra Hemsworth, you are, right?". The chief of industries, yes another paperwork. This-is-not-really-ultimately-cool. A bubble poped and it was reality again. I managed I smile instead of a dumbfounded look "Yes, Mr.Cyrus, it is I. Do you need anything? how can I help you". His brows rosed high and I then too and he laughs. "Your perfectly suite for the new project, I need you tomorow 8am, clear as a crystal." I was shocked, terribly shocked "Oh Mr.Cyrus-" he interrupted me "I'll see you. Have a good night!" then he was now miles away half-gone. OKAY? am I dreaming again, I consulted myself. I keep on pitching every part of me to wake up but it won't work, maybe it just need some sleep tonight, wake up again tomorow and face life.


The sun finally rised up high above the rocky mountain and beneath the thick clouds, it is now facing the Earth with it's hot raises that burned ofcourse, my extra-snow-white-skin. PREPOSTEROUS! I keep on laughing, err- just to start the day beautiful with an extraordinary bliss. I dresses up myself with my tone stockings and the formal office dress and don't you forget my black shoes that I'd been tooking care of 2 years ago. I was beautifuly dressed now and ready to head off to the office.


Ooooh! wet and drastically unbeautiful. SHRUGS! that rain owe me a day. But then, I entered the office with a smile even with the embarassment that welcomed me. "Alis... Mr.Cyrus's been waiting for you in his office". I head off to Mr.Cyrus's office right after putting my things in the deck, I knocked 3 times before entering his scented room. "Good morning Mr.Cyrus, sorry I was late, the rain was pretty much tough." but he was quiet "uh- about the project you'ved been telling me Sir. What is it?" he rose from his seat and walked in my place. "I owe you a congratulation after the victorious seminar in Paris, that you will be presenting." my mouth shut open, and the atmosphere feels like I am floating in the galaxy and had no place to go. "Aaaaand your promoted as the second highest top clerks in the company of Cyrus Industries. I am welcoming you with open arms Ms.Hemsworth" his smile was toned and mine was broad. "Oh! thank you very much Mr.Cyrus, I owe you not only one but everything. thank you, I don't know how to pay you. You wan't some lunch later?" he laughs and answered me "No! It is I that should treat you out. You owe me a next time when you're a big time" we all together laughed, as in laughing out the joy inside of me. For the last time, I gave him a hug and thank him for the wonderful opportunity he had offer to my life. So, the paperworks had been lessen, and I'm facing board meetings or meal meetings instead of all time exposed into computer and paperworks. Then here comes September 2, 2012... surely the day that would bound Paris and me into a small damn peck.


I am in the city of love with a heart that beats only for God and to myself. 2 weeks of stressed and the seminar is approaching like a rocket ready to fly above with the thick clouds that cover the entire world. -- "You have to drink this, it would make you feel better" Mr.Cyrus settled by my side with a Soda in his hands, we were both quite, until "Ms.Hemsworth can I leave you for a minute? I'm just going to see my mom in the coffee shop, or you wanna come with me?". "Oh no, it's fine Mr.Cyrus, honestly I wanted to be alone for a moment". "Okay then, take care, I'll see you later". I smiled and wave at him back and forth while starring as he leave me alone in this astounding couple bench. In the silence of this refuge a man came by to stop, trying to kill the awkward silence that caged me. "Hi. You are?". "Alisandra, Alisandra Hemsworth. And Mr...?. He smiled and "Mr.Danile Gidoti". "Buenos diaz Mr.danile Gidoti" Whatta crap! I'm sitting beside a french man, and the only french word I know was GOOD DAY. oh God! I hummed into myself while suffering the essence of this person beside me. "Don't worry Im an American" he face me and smile. "Oh my God! Thanks so much Lord, I never thought I'll met you here. It's just that I'm bored saying complements to french people.". he laughs awkwardly that he look like some kind of Moron. "Yuh! bussiness is torturing me, you'd like a cruise?"."cruise? that would be fun right?.but...". "Come on Ms.Alisandra, I'm a well business man, do I look like a murdurer?". "No. but...its just that..." ughr! words left me unspoken and I really don't know why. "Come-on, trust me, it would be super duper fun. I'll promise you, it's just going to be today. Then you'll wake up tomorow telling yourself that It was fun in the Paris". I was quiet and he's waiting for a response but I didn't, I just stare at him blankly. "Come-on! please? the time is running." but I really don't understand why I can't refuse on him, It felt like he was an old friend of mine that I can't put grudges on. He took my hand and I let go. Crap this guy is.! "Okay-okay, I will. But you have to promise me that I'd be safe and sound when I got home." He was pathethic and he was jumping in chorus like a little youngster jumping in rejoice because his mom bought him a new buddy toy."-- so the day was all out fun, we'v been to shopping malls bought some couple shirts, yeah it sounds funny but mostly it was all about couple shirts, we've chitchat too, in the Starbucks coffee shop and went to a Safari land, and it was awesome there the animals are totally huge. So we also went to the Circus land, and the roller coaster disdainfully drain my hair. We also gone to the Eifel Tower, and with hardworks and tiredness upon climbing it we finally reached the top no less and no more. "OOOOOH! It is really up here, it seems like it washes all your  life problems and stresses away." "Definitely! your right, it's just so good to be up here, the ere's fidelity is really captivating" I stare at him with a toned smile. "GAAAAH! WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT THERE?". "Nothing! it's just that... I'm thankful... you know... because you take me here. I've never been such places like this before with a... with a...friend". "Really? even once, whatta life is that?". "It happened to me once, but I don't wanna remember it. Yes! it tend to me to question the odds why my life is miserably dainty, I often get jealous to my crews on seeing there life was, it is perfectly beautiful. They got there respective Jobs with them, they have their family to guide them, they either have this thing they called LOVE." "why? you haven't had one experience of that?". "I had, I had one time , that I thought he really is the one, He was the perfect guy from the moment I met him. But he left... he just left with a heartache and a tear in my eye". "that hurts, huh?". "yes it does, it really does. It really hurts to see him...happy.. in the arms of someone else... knowing that the things you gave him wasn't really enough to make him happy and contented....". "Continue, I'm willing to listen". "It was our anniversary, He told me that he was tired and that he needs rest so delayed our date to a rest, but then I never told that I have duty on the day, it's because I don't want him to feel that he was dumb and fool... so, while walking on the way home from the office, I tend to drop  by in his apartment just to give time for him but then...". "then what?". "But his apartment was locked. luckly I never forget to bring his extra keys.then... upon opening it.. I saw him... I saw him on top of a bitch barely". He never said anything instead he hugs me and eventually it really made me cry. "Come-0n stop that. I know you needed you some rest. You want me to take you home?". "It depends on you...". along the way he still hold my waiste and I just lay my head in his shoulders.


"Thankyou" My smile was broad. "so, there would be a next time, right? Can I see you again?". "Ofcourse." He smiled and unexpectedly he gave me a peck. He release my hands softly in place and "Goodnight Ms.hemsworth!" and just go. "Goodnight Mr.Gidoti!" I whispered in the distance that now lie between us. Then I am imagining thousand of sparkling fireflies above me, and it feels like I am capitivated and wonderstruck with that man. "It was just only a day that changes everything" I told myself upon lying unto this comfty bed. His such an addiction, I would perhaps, say. His scent strongly sticks unto my skin, and it really feels like... I'm missing him, it's odly like a boring place without him... and it seems like... OH NO! NO! NO! it can't be. I'm trying to close these eyes to refrain my mind from thinking about so many unexplainable and unexpected things. I think he's right, it really needs some rest.


Whatta beautiful sunshine that glowed up in the sky conjoined with the bliss of the toned and flambouyant clouds that traps the Earth. a sigh made a wake up more real. I hurry up to prepare myself for the coming conference later facing hundreds of Business men. It made me think of him then again 'OH NO! NO! I should not... I must not think of him, what if I lose all my controls later?UUUH! crap! okay... back to normal life, it was just a day then the coming days would be then... a memory'. Then a knock comes "Alis? are you ready?" I smile and sigh. "always prepared... for everything" 
I never expected that the convention place was really felt like you are in a paradise. It's just... something... we were actually early then the business men are all look fantastic and formal. I stare at the open window beneath the big, dump sheets of papers. Then the wind strikes like a really strong mega wind that made my face turned to face the another set of business men entering the hall, until then a face glowed up like a diamond in the hit of the sun... My eyes stucked wide open, watching him walking on our way. This made my heart skip a beat... He captured my eyes that made the time freezes and so with the people and it almost feel like a fairytale. He walks towards me, locking his eyes and hands are crossing, afraid that maybe they would fall because of this heat that I'm feeling, for a sudden moment the world felt like a slow motion world. "You are here. I have this urge that I will see you, i've gotta see you. then you're here" He said. OH HEART BE STILL, i whispered to myself. "Whatta small world Mr.Gidoti" he just smiled aaaand.... Oh! it was back to normal again. "Hey! I'll just check you out later" He cried. "Of course" I'm still shocked, and the words in my mouth felt like they are paralized. Oh Goodness! This is some kind of something... something like.... AM I INLOVE? that question keeps on running a hundred thousand miles in my head. Does anyone has a cannon ball, I just loved to take a date with my head with it.-- 5 hours had passed and it was time for a lunch, the convention was succesful for both companies of him and mine. "Whatta coincidence Ms.Alisandra! congrats" he said waiting for me in the hallway "Oh well, congrats too Mr.Danile, I never expect to see you here. Anyway, who's with you?" I asked him, curiously. "Oh! it's just me and my partner but he would fly earlier to states so I will be left here all alone. And you?" He asked me the same question, and of course its for me to answer. "I'm with my boss, I would like you to meet Mr.Cyrus, the owner of the CYRUS INDUSTRIES." His hands met Mr.Cyrus' but then M.Cyrus gone ahead to meet his wife so again I'm left here frozen and unable to breath like... Oh crap! what the hell is going on me. "So, you wanna have lunch?" Danile asked me. And I can't even say no I was apparantly hungry. We'vr talked so much about work during that lunch then afterwards we've gone to a known historical place that made my head forget it.. then it's 7pm when we landed to A floating boat. "So, what do you think of this ride, nice huh?" He asked with that Bubbly face of him that made me look away. ooooh! Here we go again. Heart, be still.. be still.. "Yes. it's beautiful Danile...". "Yah! It looks like you". "Oh? come-on I'm not in into your jokes right now huh? don't play with me". "I'm not... why ? are you scared?" He lean close to my face unable for me to make a move "I am...." I told him, then I continue "I'm afraid that with what you are doing right now would make me fall inlove with you" he smile then for the briefest instant he leaned into me more closer than before, his hands found my neck, I closed my eyes and I know what would happen when I closed my eyes. His lips found mine, it was soft and exaggerated. His hands fell below my waiste and it keeps pushing me into his tensioned body. He stoped "I LOVE YOU ALISANDRA, and I know this feeling is real" I smile and told him "I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE DANILE" the night was full of love that bounds us to be together.


  Chest to chest, nose to nose, palm to palm it was always just that show. Wrist to wrist, toe to toe and the lips that felt just like the inside of a rose. I've spend a good night in his hotel, this place that I found was really so good to be true. I once dream of a guy like him who would make me feel special again, apparently that time had arrived, my dreams now became such a wonderful reality. This fidelity, this world conspires with him as I was for him. For the briefest instant I don't wanna wake up if Im just dreaming. "you know what, it feels like what now is...is an eternity". He holds my hand, softly but surely, he says then "This hand, I'll be holding this forever... I promise this to you, No oceans, No mountains, No islands can tear us apart". I reached for his hands and I led it into my chest "this heart only beats for you... I can't ....  I can't take to leave you nor to be without you" He hugs me tighly but softly and he'd let me sleep in his arms, hearing those beautiful beats of his heart.


A year passed...


I sat bolt upright, shivering in my bed. The morning sunlight filtered through my window speak and span. I dress up, aaaand.... the phone halt to a rang. Kriing...Kriiing; "hello" it says... "Hi, baby! I already miss you. How about if I treat you on a date after your work?" My smile toned to be fragile the astonishment went perfectly beautiful now. "Honey, I'd be delighted to. I'll see ya in a couple of hours ?" I laugh, A one crooked laugh. "Be safe, okay?"


Tons of paperwork then time shifted to a "THIS IS IT!" a clerk came into my office holding a bouquet of flowers with a scented letter. "Madam, this must have been from the one who owns your heart" He says... I smile, and "thank you". My nosed frequently zips the smell of the roses. I open the letter and the words linger unto my head my smile is now fascinated and clear... "YOUR CHICKS ARE ROSSY RED, I KNOW.. I AM STARING AT YOUR SMILE NOW WHILE YOU ARE READING THIS LETTER. YOU ARE REALLY A QUEEN OF ANYTHING, AND I AM YOUR KING OF SOMETHING... YOU ARE A QUEEN THAT I KNOW I'M GOING TO SHARE A LIFE WITH.... I HAVE ANOTHER PRESENT FOR YOU, GO OUT AND CHECK IT OUT" my pace went back and forth but no sign of him, I went outside and I realize the office was perfectly silent and hummed like any other day I'd never been through. My feet step to a halt on the pathway, another clerk approach me holding a Picture and again, a letter. "I LOVE YOU BABY, I'M WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE" then my eyes shifted to the picture, it is a picture of him on a POUT POSE with a caption of "I'M GOING TO KISS" now, I can no longer measure this smile I'm wearing. Outside the office below the stairs I saw a pink BMW car, and I know Danile owns it... Before I could make a step unto that car, the car door bulged up open and yes he was on a descent white polo and a ticktock shoe. He says "LOOK DOWN" Undeniably I did, I never beside me is a lil box I get it with my hands, before I was about to open he run unto me, hugs me and kiss me "For now, I can now kiss you everyday, hug you every moment, Stare at your elusive smile... Capture your best laugh... Going to watch you sleep and going to hold your hand forever..." A sigh and my world seemed to be falling apart unto him, I touched his nose and say "Okay, what's all about this?" He smile and locked his eyes on me we are now both holding the small box. He says "we're going to open it, together".... my eyes came out to be fish eye. Ready to dodge the bullet, "Danile.." was all I said. I look at him and hug him, tighly and I don't care if it might crossed his leg "Hey...." I came to face him, his kneeling now in front of me "I would like to hold your hand forever, would you let me?". "YES" toroughly my eyes are closed an open them, I thought I was dreaming but... I wasn't "Ms. Alisandra Hemsworth... will you marry me?" "YES I WILL" he rose form his knees and hug me, his lips found mine and "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" He says.. "I LOVE YOU TOO, TODAY, TOMORROW AND ALWAYS" and it lasted with a kiss and forevermore...

HANGINGTHORN

 
                      (Life is like a rose, beware of thorns or else in the end you'l be left hanging)
   Your going to come back, right?it would only be a month long to go." I asked with tears in my eyes, touching his cheeks gently. "yes! I will. I love you so much I can't dare to leave you and to be away from you, we are going to pursue our dreams someday, I will come back, and when that time comes I will asked your hand to wear my ring and you to be in my forevermore" my tears keep on rolling on "I will wait for your home coming, I'm always hanging and torn when you're not there, I love you". I lay my head in his chest feeling the heat of his body and hearing the beat of his heart "I love you too honey" ...

It was a cold rainy morning when me and my friend rose to the city. City lights, everywhere. We were chasing for the time, astounding as we are, until ... YES ! we reached SM's cinema 3 for the movie, The Hunger Games. Oh! then eventually it reminded me of someone I used to be out on movies. He is miles away from me,indeed. Just then a memory blogged up in the a distance. I miss him so much.."Oh probably! it would really be nice to be with you again, I really miss you...so much" I said wearily with fingertips cold. "It's going to be fine, I'm coming back, I will never leave you" he said. "baby, don't dissapoint me. I need you back. you're everything I need" I mur with tears falling from the corner of my eyes turning to be ice. "Honey, just feel the breeze there, don't worry too much, I'll be going home someday, okay? just stay calm" and eventully he did make me feel better but only then some part of me are madly aching. "Yes, I will honey" I then turn off the phone call and just sit patienly and enjoying the groove of the movie. -- WOW! it was really... really... something, it was nice and terrific, yes it is really was.-- I got home, drained from tiredness, so I lay my head in my soft, scented pillow, eyes are now getting ready to closed and I'm apparently drowsy. It was damn raining, I peeked from my window pain, the memories bulged in my head, and it seems like it's making me remember them over ang over again, though it was really nice to remember them but undeniably I am aching. I am managing a damn-fake-smile covering the swelling of the pain and sickness but then I am weak to help cover up myself, weak as a dull deer and I know there is one thing that could cure my from this illness, it is his present. His present, physically.-- As the happy, ever so bright sun fading its color and touched the tip of the mountains, It was now setting from a far away then I hummed into the steady tune of the moment "your going to be fine, you'll be healed at some time just trust him and your relationship and it will all going to be alright". I deeply closed my eyes for a second and then open them, like a front door opened and ready to be shut angrily. -- 4 years later Katnis then finished his studies got promoted to a well known company of Interiors, wherein she was known as the top Interior Designers in the country, and also her writting thing never leave her down, she was also known for her best seller novels, and was known for writting the best love stories in the world. Though her name now had surf the whole wide world but still her longings still brings her down, crawling and waiting for a sign of his longedloved boyfriend. She had searched everywhere, she searched on social networks, or she even posted her phone number, she got thousands of phone calls but no one glows up to be RODERICK, the man in her heart, until such time comes when the world's bringing her hopes down.

"So what the hell you are doing? I know you still love her, then what you are doing? your just sitting around like nothing's wrong in your life" Jamich said angrily towards Roderick "There isn't wrong in my life" he answers back calmy. "There is, and it is something you have to be looking into, settle that brother, your not a child anymore!". 'OKAY' , i said to myself "I love her and I really do miss her but it's not enough to make her understand" he nodded "But Rod, you didn't even see that she is doing everything to find you and your so coward of facing her, she will understand it if you'l just explain it to her clearly, clear as a crystal" she answers me. "was I a fool?" I asked. "Yes! probably, I'm not accusing you as someone whose dull, but apparantly your not using your mind. come on! wake up." she screeches, but I was a bestfriend of silence. "and don't you ever give me your dumbfounded look, that is not so cool".

It was really a busy day, a day full of papers and pens and it's really making me a lilttle sobber, Oh God! Sigh! I murmured as I lay into this bed of red roses. My head isn't working well, I can't even composed a new story for the new out magazine. Oh God! How horrible is it?--, The sun shyly peeked in the closed curtains, door chimes sang a beatiful melody, and it's telling me that it's going to be a wonderful day. My smile turned to be broad and stunning.

"Are you ready?" she said smilling. "As I'll ever be Jam" I assure her, "okay then, goodluck! break the leg huh?" I laughed only then to keep myself from shattering in fear, fear that she might reject me.

First thing to do in the office is just to sit around stay confident for the clients. I hummed unto myself. I am facing the whole city in my window glass, until then an image of a familiar man glowed up below. My eyes flashed widely open, and then the image went right away. I am thinking of that man again, but my mind tells me 'it was nothing' 'nothing but a piece of crap' he heart continued.-- "Good day ma'am, there this man in the lane who wanted to talk to you, he said his name is Rod" words echo in my head like a cannon ball. "okay" was all I responsed with schock in my voice. "Shall I let him in, ma'am?" she asked once again. "Okay" again it was all I said "is anything okay, ma'am?" urgh! whatta stupid crew."of course." I answer her calmy.

I was facing in the hundred posts of photographs in my office. And he was right in front of me. "What made you came here after the long shot Roderick?" I asked him then nodded. "I came here to apologize for being deadly gone, my sister told you've send searches to reached me." I smile and told him "I was about to hunt you, but I lose hope, you know... the world's bringing me down on looking for you, and someone told me that it would be for the best if I'll stop, anyway, I figured out then that you hasn't recieved those efforts. To tell you frankly, you break my heart when you left and you break it once more when you came again, I lost my world when you left and when you came you make it fell again, but my senses told me to stop. You already broke it, now you don't have the guts to break it again." I face him "I did not thought you would do this, My world seemed to crash, I really shouldn't have thought that this would last." My voice turned to be vibrid and then here I am managing a dumbfounded look. " I still love you, I have forgotten you". "you already did forget me. you forget all of those words, I've waited for you, but what did you did? you broke everything, and now there's nothing left." I said wearily. "I have a reason why I did that but then I did my very best to face you again, to tell you how much I miss you, and I love you, but it will never be enough" he said, begging. "Your apology is accepted. yes! Love isn't really enough, and you know what ? I would love to see you walk away a-again. the door is widely open!" I never expected that a single lone tear will falls through my eyes.-- Roderick  keeps on giving me letters, flowers, chocolates, or even our old photographs together 4 years ago, he's been doing it since the day I told him to never come back, it was 3 months from that day. But still I am not replying into his messages.

"Jam, this is it. I have to face it, anyway she's gone, there is no way I can't have her back. So, please do me a favor. If ever she'll look for me. give this letter to her, will you?" she smiled "but bro, your not gonna die. okay?" I nodded "I just don't want to wish for that impossible thing." She's quite and just hug me tight..

5 MONTHS PASSED. . .

" Ding... Dong... Ding... Dong" the door turned open, "Hey jam!" I cried. "Oh ! hi, Katnis. What made you came here?" she asked smiling. "Is he there? Roderick ?" I asked with curiousity in my eyes in her horrible expression. "Uhm..come inside, there is something I wanted to give you." She said and keeping herself deaf about my question. "Oh no! It will be okay for me if he don't wanna see me at all, I guess I'm going to drive myself home." I nodded "Oh! he's fine with it, and I guess there is something I really needed to tell you about him." my expression went curiously captivated. "Okay, if you say so." I follow her into the sofa and then we've talk so much about their house that was made and designed by Roderick, his very own masterpiece. His room was full of roses and pictures of ours and also mine, I was barely touched and much more I am eager to see him. But there this place with a jar and a letter and plenty of candles, and the ring which I have also one 4 years ago. It was a couple ring, his and mine."Katnis, my brother told me that If one day came by when you'l look for him I'll just give this letter for you. He wrote before he said goodbye" I smiled and grasp the letter, touched it with my bare hands and feel it with my big heart for him. "where is he?" She nodded and look above the seilings "I never realize that the seilings are painted with thick and beautiful clouds with a picture of him each clouds that are separated" I feel nervous my heart is aching and my senses are telling me that there is something wrong inwhich I have to know it to Jamich. "Jam, where is he?" I cried and cringed my fingers into her elbow. "where is Roderick?" but she's still silent "Where is your brother?" I said it once again, my heart slowly falling into pieces, oh heart, be still. She face me and I realize that she was crying. "Where is - " He interrupt me, she said then "5 months ago, His Melanoma got influated. It got complicated until it comes to a point that the moles became cancerous, he needed you so much, but then he understands that you are having a wealthy and a better life now, so he thought that it would be much better for you and him to be separated. He knows too that he hurt you soo much, that the illness he is feeling is the karma that he made you." She face me again hold my hand and said "4 years ago, when he left and nevr come back, it's because of the illness, He lay down in the hospital rooms for almost 5 months every year, every year Katnis, every year. He knows that you've been looking for him, every book you sell I brought it or him to read it, thus he was very happy when you got promoted in the high class company. He was hoping that someday, you'l understand him for leaving you. But eventually you didn't." I cried and my world, my world, falls apart now my heart is shattering and I'm such a lame for letting him suffer alone. she continues "But he never give up, you know.. he merely sends you present but you leave those unopened and clunged in the bins." A sigh make her stop and then continues "he cries inside this room every minute, second, hours or even every moment. each day comes closer and farther from you. Until he gave me this." she face Rod's photograph "Little brother, the day that you've been waited for has come. I know how happy you are right now, and this, I am giving it now to the girl you love the most" She cried and also my tears, I can't help them to fall.

From that day on, I always went to the cemetery to visit Roderick to let him know that I've regret all of the things that went us wrong. "Roderick, I'm gonna fly to America, i'm going to work there, but I'll be home then, to visit you ofcourse. Rod, I love you so much and I hope you already forgiven me"

A YEAR PASSED . . .


The sun peeked on the plane's glass window, suddenly... a single lone tear falls. She rode her car unto the cementery. "Hi Rod. It's been a long time since I'd left. But I want you to know that our dreams now came true, I never fail you. But, your still not here, every moment I'm away, I'm thinking of you, in every language and words, I'm in pain. I love you honey, I miss you soo much... very very very much, Im always stucked here on those memories of us... forever... but I believe that someday we'l see each other again" I wipe my tears away and perched on the tall grass of the cementery.

  Though there is million rock, million heavens that betweened them. But with that love that bounds them, it almost feel as if they are together again.


  -WWW.FACEBOOK.COM

BAD GIRL

 Hey! Every Body seems to be staring at me...

You! You! All of you!

How dare you to stare at me?

Why? Is it because I’m a bad girl?

A bad girl I am, A good for nothing teen ager, a problem child?

That’s what you call me!

I smoke. I drink. I gamble at my young tender age.

I lie. I cheat, and I could even kill, if I have too.

Yes, I’m a bad girl, but where are my parents?

You! You! You are my good parents?

My good elder brother & sister in this society were I live?

Look…look at me…What have you done to me?

You have pampered and spoiled me, neglected me when I needed you most!

In trusted me to a yaya, whose intelligent was much lower than mine!

While you go about your parties, your meetings and gambling sessions…

Thus… I drifted away from you!

Longing for a fathers love, yearning for a mothers care!

As I grow up, everything change!

You too have change!

You spent more time in your pokers, mahjong tables, bars and night clubs.

You even landed on the headline of the news paper as crook, peddlers and racketeers.

Now, you call my name; accuse me in everything I do to myself?

Tell me! How good you are?

If you really wish to ensure my future

Then hurry….hurry back home! Where I await you, because I need you…

Protect me from all evil influences that will threaten at my very own understanding…

But if I am bad, really bad…then, you’ve got to help me!

Help me! Oh please…Help me!

A Walk With A Morning Frown

    A bliss of smile toned to be a frown. That’s how my Tuesday morning started.

       I buckle up to the cold, freezing floor, cellular phone in hand. I tiptoed on the way to the cozy sala and dive into down on the chair, reading through a thousand messages I received this morning.

       Waiting. . . Was all I’ve been doing since I’ve been harassing my head with the thoughts that perplex me so? My mum shook her head and smiled at me as a sign of a sweet welcoming morning “hi!” was all she said “doing great?” she added, finally, “slow,” by the time she went away, I flash quickly back into my room and dive into my soft and scented bed. I baffle up and finally received a message of him “Good morning hon.” A smile cried out into my sensitive face, as it turn into apple-colored-blush, I replied “Good morning pud hon.” Exchanging of messages happened, then suddenly it turned into something I never did expected.

       “I don’t need someone whose flirt and seductive, all I want as a partner whose conservative looking.” Blood runs through my veins, hot and with anger. A drop of liquid suddenly began to fall from the corner of my eyes. I hesitated but I couldn’t resist them, I couldn’t even pretend that I was okay well actually I wasn’t. I thought of the love I have given him, I give all of me and love him like no one else could. For me he was my everything, my soul, my life, and the reason for every bit of smile. Now that he’s gone miles away I couldn’t able to bring back the broken pieces into place again. I’d love him so much and I don’t want to lose him, for this matter it is much better for the two of us broken and separated. Until the beat find its way again then surely that would be our time again and no one else could come close.

          Walking absent mindedly on the long and hot road onto the school, as if it is the end of the world. Then in a sudden, a Starex Van was approaching in front of me, a window suddenly open with the face of my dearest kuya Chip-Chip Gallarita, he smiled,  his eyes at me and shouted “pangit!pangit!” with his super-ultra-teasing-voice. A flash of smile appeared but then it only lasted for a while. Only for a while.

          Pag-ibig na sa kabila ng kamatayan ay hindi ko bibitawan”

“I can’t live without you, you are my life now” those words linked into my blank mind, and I can’t help the fact that until now, I am still holding into his words. Words that I long to hear. 

FRIENDSHIP.LOVE.GUILT. DEATH.HOPE

In the warm embrace of the night, I listened to the steady hum of cicadas, breathing in the peace of this refuge, trying to still my racing thoughts. . .

            Don’t you dare John?!” May accompanied angrily to her fiancée, I stood there wearily in front of them with my hand stands below my chin. “We need to talk” said John half-heartedly. “No more talk! No more you and me, no more!” groaned May with tears in her eyes. She turns to face me “let’s go, what’s the point of staying up late here” I follow her gaze to wherever she is going through “you sure okay?” I asked and she hesitated, “I would understand if you wanted to be alone, you know” I manage to see her expression but all I could see was approval to my words. “Thank you” we hugged for a brief shirt if time as I handed her my handkerchief and I went alone in my English Class. Seating alone without May, my best friend, and the only thing I had. Here comes Xian, the cute guy sitting next to May and me - actually the greatest crush I and May have (sounds funny you know) -came to approach me, "hey Line, where's May?" he asked, and at the moment I was blushing, it was the very first of all times he did ask me. “um... some family problems" I answered hesitantly "oh! I see." was all he said, and left without even saying goodbye. Honestly I was disappointed for that matter. 

            The next morning, May was up calling me. "Pauline! Pauline!" she cried, i turned around to face her "yes bestie?" I answered, and her breath was taking faster, "Are you okay?" I asked wearily. "I was looking for you anywhere. And at last I did find you here" she paused and then continue "I need to tell you something, that even me, myself , can't believe it" oh! I wondered "I'm sorry, what is it?" she smiled “Xian was asking me on a date, today" she said, proudly. "What about John, was it really over?"

"Oh! Common stop talking about that guy, better be pestering someone else, I'm getting sober, okay?” I guess you already are, I told myself. "So I have to go, okay? I'll see you later then? I got to prepare myself" she muttered. "Okay, Enjoy there!" she gave me a sweet peck then went away.

           After class, I went to the cafeteria with Dave, I saw there, May with Xian waving at my sight, as soon as I get closed to them "Hey!" I said taking a seat in front of them with Dave on my side. "Stop teasing me Apple, or else I would kiss you" said Xian, May wearing a curious expression said "APPLE?" she asked. "Because you are the Red apple and I am your sweet Chocolate"

"I bet its white chocolate" May teased. "Um... Sorry but I think Dave is getting a 'lilt thirsty, we need some soda on the store" i said, smiling, “Nah! Just take good care of my bestie, Dave" said May. and I turned to face Xian instead of May "You too Xian, don't take my sissy too much" he smiled- and honestly he looks beautiful- " you better watch for yourself Line, take care" I was touch, and I like the way he thoughts.

I back out and he screamed on the back of me "I can assure you too that I will take good care of May so well." I smiled and nodded. Actually, I was a little bit jealous - Oh no! I wasn't. PREPOSTEROUS! After taking up some soda, we went back to the school quick.

                        TWO MONTHS PASSED. . .

           I saw Xian for the first time walking along the hallway all by his self. As I was near into him, he said together tapping my elbows "hey! Where are you going?"

"Somewhere" I said. "You mind if I come with you?" we stare for a long moment of time, and it is really in him that I couldn't able to refuse. So it's been 5 days straight that we always hang-out together, just the two of us.

          You’re such a lilt coward Xian! So what's this all about?" I said, with cheeks turning peach."Yeah. I just wanted to tell you that you really mean a lot to me Pauline." He said with sincerity in his gold eyes, "you sure does to me too Eye shield." he smiled. "I love you" as he said those words, I saw nothing but sincerity and honesty in his voice. As I thought of May then, her present girlfriend. "Yes I love May, before, but I think it's not her whom I really want. It's you! It’s you Pauline Katen Samson: My Hearty Barky." I smiled and then for a second he came close and, surprisingly, he slip his arms around my neck down to my waist. He leaned into me, and when I closed my eyes, I knew I wanted more than to hold him this way forever.

           Later, after we spent a good part of the night talking and kissing on the beach I ran my fingers along her jaw and whispered, "I love you too, Xian " I closed my eyes again, and feel the warmth of his body against mine. "I love you More and more Pauline."

"I think you should fix that one problem with May, I don't want to hurt her, I love her too, Xian”

          The day after, Xian and May flashed through my way. "You bitch!" May slapped me hardly, hot with anger, in the face, and I could not say a word."I'm sorry May." I apologize, "SORRY? Fuck! You’re nothing but a piece of rotten snake! Traitor! Bitch! Dirty woman! I hate you so much for doing this Katen!" she cried, she left with the pain she inflicted in me. "Are you okay? I'm sorry; I just needed to fix this, you and May, in time"

"You will?" I said crying. "Yes I promised!" we chase May quickly on the parking lot. She stare at me with eyes full of anger, "Back-off Pauline" then turned to face Xian, "If you want to settle this, come with me “she said. Xian faced me, and I understood why he really has to come.

         It's passed 9:00 o'clock in the evening, but Neither Xian or May called me. 10:00 o'clock and I'm still waiting for a call, then for a sudden "kriiing! kriiing!" I hurried and answer the phone. "Hello, Xian?"

But an unknown voice answered me "Is this Pauline Samson?" 

"Yes, it is? Why?" I worried. "This is Sheila of Roy's Hospital, come quick!" then put the phone down. I brag off to the hospital with all the tensions in my weary eyes. Then there I saw my best friend cold with eyes open and a terrifying face-expression beside the man I love. I cried and hold Xian’s rigidly vibrating hands; my shirt was full of Jelly-sticky-blood as I am hugging the bloody body of my Partner. “Don’t leave me, eye shield! I need you; please don’t leave me” I said, pleading and begging him “fight! I know you could do it. Don’t leave me, I need you” I said, crying and believing that he could survive from this tragic event. He opens his weak eyes, and murmured “I love you, and only you. I’m sorry, I can’t make up the promise I made” I cover his mouth “don’t say that you can do this, together we’ll fight, okay?” He closed his eyes once again, and he ran his cold fingers on my cheek down to my lips “I-I-I l-love y-you Pau. . .” he didn’t finished what he said, and his hands fall, I open my eyes and stare at him, crying. “Don’t do this Xian!” I hug him for the last, and I whispered into his cold, pale ears “I love you, and I’ll always will. Wherever you are right now, I know you are happy, and I’m happy too, not for leaving me, but to see you rest in peace, I love you forever my eye shield” It’s hard for me to say, but it would be much harder if I wouldn’t accept the fact that he’s gone away. With tears in my eyes, I reminisce the moments we’ve been together.

          In the warm embrace of the night, I listened to the steady hum of cicadas, breathing in the peace of this refuge, trying to still my racing thoughts. Crying on the sixteenth day April, the day Xian told me that he loves me and the day May and I met. I stare blankly at the silver-stone moon and for the briefest instant; it almost feels like we’re together again.